Perhaps my experience of 25 years in Mormonism can help someone. I have hesitated to write my story because it seems so many leave the LDS church and apparently altogether turn away from God. I certainly don’t want to be responsible for that happening in anyone’s life. Yet, clinging to error and confusion is never the answer. We must all move on with God.
My name is Katie. My initial reaction upon officially
leaving the LDS church in 1986 was one of letting it all
hang out because I was so angry at the deception
perpetrated upon me by the organization to which I had
faithfully dedicated such an important part of my life
and into which I had brought my precious children. I am
happy that I was able to move beyond that initial anger
and find the excitement that I enjoy today of growing in
the knowledge and experience with God. I now trust Him
totally with my own life, and I know that He is involved
in the lives of all His children, and intimately and
miraculously involved with those who will yield their
lives to Him.
I almost never write something that I wouldn’t choose to
edit again each time I read it. Not so when I finally
wrote our letter of resignation from the LDS church
which my husband asked me to write for both of us. It
just flowed out, directed, I know, by the Holy Spirit.
Even reading it today, I would not change one word. It
ended with this: “Sorry, it’s not the people, it’s the
church,” reversing the phrase so familiar to Mormons who
always blame unexplainable problems on the people (too
often themselves) rather than the church.
Let me say at the outset that I believe that organized
denominational religion is the world’s biggest spiritual
problem today, and I believe this will become
increasingly apparent in the very near future. There are
many independent churches that are doing a good job of
teaching their people, but few denominational churches
allow their members to consider anything beyond their
own rigid doctrine. Yet, it is possible to have “freedom
FROM religion” and have a rewarding and satisfying
relationship with God because there is total liberty,
peace, power and great joy in Christ Jesus, something
that God promises, not I, - something I, and many other
believers, have come to know and experience. It has
taken a long time for me. I am 73 years old, a widow.
Now for the story, in sincere hopes that it will be
useful to someone. At the end, I will discuss briefly
what I see as five of the greatest deceptions of the LDS
religion, but I will not go into detail of the
innumerable LDS church fallacies since that has been
done so well elsewhere.
Jim and I were married in 1960, each for the second
time. We may have been the original Brady Bunch, as he
brought two children to the marriage and I, four. We
both knew that we never wanted to go through divorce
again, and felt we needed a church to help us in the
challenges we faced. Our children were all in their
teens during the turbulent 1960’s.
I had been reared Baptist up until age 12, when my
parents moved their small family and we ceased attending
church. My mother, the youngest daughter of a circuit
rider preacher who died when she was eight, had
committed the unthinkable when she married my father, a
Catholic, albeit a non-practicing one. They quickly
moved in 1928 from Texas to southern California to
escape the criticism of their union.
My husband Jim was reared by his mother and step-father
and he said he never saw the inside of a church except
as he was instructed by kind and loving members of the
Salvation Army when his parents were forced to seek help
during the Great Depression. He always maintained a
great respect for the Salvation Army. While a young man
in the Army in the South Pacific for four years in World
War II (he had turned 18 at Pearl Harbor only three
weeks prior to the attack), he became what he often
referred to as a “fox-hole” Catholic.
My first husband was a non-practicing Catholic and Jim’s
first wife a Baptist from the south. We did not know
each other then, but later, after each of us had
divorced and met, we acknowledged to each other that we
had rarely attended church during our first marriages
and felt, as we were to ready to join our families
together, that it was important to do so.
I had been severely injured as a young child, and was
often ill, and had developed, with the help of my
mother, a very close relationship with God. It
diminished, however, when we stopped attending church.
When I met my first husband, I tried very hard to become
a Catholic, but was unable to accept the theology.
Later, when we began having marital problems, I began
reading everything I could find in the library, even
delving into the metaphysical philosophies and religions
long before they became the popular sources of deception
that they are today. However, I never read my Bible
again. For some reason, it seemed completely closed to
me, and I had forgotten most of what I had learned as a
child. Except, that is, that I knew God existed and I
needed Him very much. Although I prayed, I just didn’t
understand, at that point in my life, how to get Him to
be an active part of my life.
Around that time I was visited by LDS missionaries who
introduced me to the Book of Mormon. I found their story
intriguing, but my Catholic husband, who was as bound by
his Catholicism as I was later to be bound by Mormonism,
refused to listen. Not wanting to further disturb our
already troubled marriage, I asked the missionaries not
to return. However, our closest friends joined the LDS
church shortly after we divorced. I lost contact with
them for several years, but after Jim and I had met and
decided we wanted to be married and were looking for a
church, we sought them out. Jim and I and our children
subsequently attended our first LDS meeting — a fast and
testimony meeting. Rather than being upset by it as some
thought we would be, it had quite the opposite effect
upon us. We were deeply moved by the love we saw as
families testified of their love for one another. This
had to be what we were looking for.
Keep in mind that we were both virtually Biblically
illiterate. We went through several sets of
missionaries, and I suspect that most thought we would
never join. I think you could fairly say that we were
quite worldly people at that point in our lives, but we
were searching. I had great difficulty accepting Joseph
Smith as a prophet, although I accepted what the
missionaries said about the Book of Mormon allegedly
validating Central American archeology (as they taught
in those days). I had always been fascinated with
archeology, and I finally accepted Joseph Smith’s
“story” about the book’s source. I really believed that
there were people on this continent who knew about God
and Jesus Christ. (I still believe that since there is
profoundly convincing evidence to prove there were both
pre-Christian and post-Christian peoples here.)
Also, I rather readily accepted the concept of a
“restored gospel” having long since recognized the
confusion in the Christian community of churches, and
rejected the Catholic church as the “original.” It
seemed a logical conclusion, but, as we were to learn
many years later, man’s logic is certainly not God’s
wisdom.
We were baptized, followed by our six children, and I do
have to say, that the church helped us get through some
very difficult years. We were not as idyllic as the
Brady Bunch, I fear. Membership in the LDS church gave
us and our children a good support system during some
troubled times. It gave us, however, only smidgens of
truth wrapped in gross deception. It took us a while,
however, to figure that out.
We were active in the church. My husband, who was a high
priest, (he has been dead a little over seven years) was
very interested in the function of the priesthood, and
became quite an authority on it. I was especially
interested in church doctrine and history, and I loved
to read, ultimately ending up with a collection of many
hundreds of LDS books. They included the church
histories, journals, etc. and I did read them. Almost
from the very beginning, I was asked to teach the
women’s Spiritual Living classes, which I dearly loved
to do, always wondering, however, why there was not a
greater and more frequent focus for the women on
scriptural teachings. I also substituted seminary and my
husband and I both taught Gospel Doctrine classes.
After we joined the church, we didn’t go to the temple
for six years, by our own choice. We took very seriously
the commitment of eternal marriage, and because we had
both been married before, there were children’s
loyalties to consider. (Jim’s ex-wife had died, shortly
after we married, of a cerebral hemorrhage. She was
sealed to my husband as a second wife when we finally
did go.) During those six years before the temple, I had
read all the LDS books I could get my hands on, but I
did not yet own the authorized histories and journals. I
had a cherished friend who was equally serious about
doctrine and history. We often studied together and we
attended the temple together. I can recall sitting in
the celestial room when we would try to talk about —
increase our understanding of — things that could be
discussed only in the temple. But we were always hurried
out by the temple workers.
My friend helped to prepare me for the temple (there
were no temple classes as such back then) by having me
carefully read the Book of Moses. Before I had ever
joined the LDS church, I had studied somewhat into
freemasonry, but only vaguely remembered what I had
read. I had already underlined Moses 5:30-31 and 49 in
the Pearl of Great Price and had long ago puzzled over
the fact that Cain’s genealogy is not included in Adam’s
genealogy in the Bible, something I better understand
now.
It was only many years after I left the LDS church that
I realized that my (and my husband’s) reaction to the
temple was quite typical. I had fasted and prayed in
anticipation of my first visit to the “most sacred place
on the face of the earth.” We were surrounded by those I
respected most, my dear and faithful friend who went
through with me, our bishop, our stake president, our
former bishop and stake president and all their wives,
and many others. I was devastated that I wanted to run
out of the building. Why wasn’t I feeling the way I was
supposed to feel? This was supposed to be the greatest
experience on the face of the earth. What was wrong with
me? What was missing? Why didn’t I get it? And why were
some of the oaths so familiar and so ugly? But I looked
around at the rapt expressions of my friends and thought
surely I was not only less intelligent but certainly
much less spiritual than they.
Over the years, I went to the temple many times, never
without having fasted and prayed, always seeking that
“wonderful spiritual experience” my friends said they
had. I asked questions of the temple presidency and was
told by the Los Angeles temple president “Now, sister,
don’t bother yourself about such things.” To this day I
don’t believe he knew the answers. But I continued to
study LDS-approved books. I always believed I would find
the answers to the questions in my mind by praying,
fasting and studying more. (Now I praise God that I did
so, because He gave me the answers, although they were
not the answers I expected to hear.)
Later, after a plane collision that took the lives of
our 21-year-old daughter and my mother, and because we
really believed we were living in the last days, we felt
that it was important to leave the densely populated
area in southern California where we lived. We moved to
this small southern Utah town - to “Zion.” We had prayed
intently and asked God to show us where we should
locate, and He did. We knew He told us to come here, and
27 years later, I know that we were not wrong. Even with
my husband gone, I know that God brought us here and
thus far keeps me here for whatever His purposes may be.
Shortly before arriving in Utah however, and about 13
years after joining the church, I had come upon a copy
of one of the early editions of the Tanners’ “Mormonism
- Shadow or Reality.” I remember reading it nervously,
as though the bishop were watching over my shoulder. (I
was obviously well into the typical fear of
“what-will-other-members-think-if-I-doubt-what-I’m-taught”
and the “everybody-just-wants-to-persecute-Mormons”
syndrome.) I hid the book away and I put all my
questions on a mental shelf. I didn’t even tell my
husband about it; I didn’t want to contribute to what I
perceived as his “weakening” faith. I simply went into
denial. Besides, I knew those things had to be wrong. So
I just studied more, believing that if I went deeper
into church history and doctrine, I would find the
answers. Instead, of course, I simply found more
questions.
Let me say that I always prayed about what I read and I
fasted frequently, asking God for guidance and the
wisdom to understand. God never leaves us nor forsakes
us and gently leads us along. Many times the Holy Spirit
directed me to read the Bible, but each time I tried, it
seemed closed to me. Of course, I had read it over the
years, but never with the dedication I gave to LDS
“scriptures.” Like all LDS, I always read the Bible
within the context and understanding of Mormon theology
and always with that insidious underlying doubt about
its authenticity. I had never simply surrendered to the
Holy Spirit, emptying myself of man’s doctrine so that
the Word of God could teach me as I read.
Like all good Mormons, Jim and I never really talked to
each other about the temple, certainly not about the
secret portions. And probably the only thing we
discussed as disappointing about the church in general
was what we perceived as the “wrong” people being called
to positions of leadership. Rather than those we saw as
spiritual giants being called, it was always local
professionals and successful business people, decent
people, but often not very “spiritual”, we thought in a
somewhat judgmental way, I suppose. We couldn’t figure
out what God was doing, but then, we weren’t God, we
would reassure ourselves.
I have to say that I was never called to a position in
the LDS church that the Holy Spirit did not tell me
about first; I always knew. It was those and other
spiritual experiences that I interpreted as validating
the church for me, when in reality, it was simply God
validating Himself to me. Spiritual experiences take
place, miracles happen, and answers come wherever and
whenever faith operates. We must realize that God hears
us, and that He is trying to do all that He can to help
us, that He always has us in the place where we have the
greatest opportunity for growth and then He will move us
along, perhaps to go around the same mountain again, if
we have still failed to learn.
In Utah in 1980, with our children long since grown and
all but one married in the temple, my husband left to
work out of Utah for several months because of financial
necessity. I continued to teach the Gospel Doctrine
lessons and Spiritual Living lessons, but would often
come home and weep because I felt so empty and the
lessons from the manual were so empty. I had the same
reaction to Sacrament meetings. I was so spiritually
hungry and I longed for more. I knew there was more. I
had by then begun to learn some things I wanted
desperately to teach, but I had to teach from the manual
and stay away from the “mysteries.” I had many
questions, and I knew that I couldn’t ask them, or
discuss them with other church members. Nor could I have
a group of friends over to meet together to discuss
issues without official approval.
When my husband returned, he was feeling equally
discouraged, and we seriously discussed some of our real
feelings for the first time and decided not to go back
to the LDS church.
Here in southern Utah, we were in business for almost
twenty years in one LDS stake while living in another.
An LDS “stake” is a division similar to a parish in
which there are several LDS “wards” or congregations. We
knew people all over our county, in an area that was,
and is, probably 98 percent LDS. After we owned one
business for five years, we sold it, and I went to work
for the county newspaper where my husband joined me
after four years. We worked there about ten years before
my husband lost his eyesight. Shortly afterwards, we
purchased the newspaper and moved it to our home town
and I have since continued to operate the newspaper for
another ten years with the help of my daughter and
granddaughter both of whom also left the LDS church. The
newspaper has afforded us continued association with
many, many wonderful people, although we have missed
that intimate fellowship that operates in a Mormon ward.
We sincerely miss that closeness, and we still feel a
great love for our LDS friends and neighbors.
When we stopped going to the LDS church, our hearts cry
was, “If truth is not in the Mormon church, Father,
where do we find it? Where do we go from here?” God is
always eager to fill the hungry heart.
Little by little we began to learn as we listened by
satellite to one or two very basic Bible preachers on
television and we began to study our Bibles. We found a
few friends who would gather in our home to discuss
freely the things of God and we began to learn and share
a little more. Then, we found a little
non-denominational “no-bondage” church some 75 miles
away that blessed us by teaching us more and helping us
learn how to draw closer to God. Each step along the
way, God provided, as our hearts sought Him. Always
there have been people coming out of nowhere to briefly
bless our lives and share with us, from many different
backgrounds. Many of our Mormon friends who still
respected us would come by to talk, often sharing their
doubts and concerns with us and many others have, in
love, asked us to return, but they know that we cannot.
We learned to recognize the point at which we could say
no more to our Mormon friends, what we called the
“Mormon window shade,” when their eyes would glaze over
and look away, and we knew it was time to stop for the
moment. They would be back. We were not unique. If God
could bring us out, He can bring them out, and we
learned to absolutely believe Him and trust Him. That is
what God is doing - in Utah, and all over the nation,
not just for Mormons, but for everyone trapped in any
kind of religious bondage. They will not all come, only
those deeply hungry for the Bread of Life and thirsty
for the Living Waters.
Isn’t it interesting that when you say to a Mormon that
you have left the LDS church, most are afraid to ask
why, but will always ask, “What church did you join?”
They cannot separate God from church. (Sadly, the same
thing is true with some Christians.) To Mormons, God is
the church. The church is right, therefore God must be
right, but only if He agrees with their church doctrine.
However, God is still in control and He is building His
own church. He loves His children, all His children. His
church has no name over the door and no membership list
and there is no one to please but Him. The freedom
experienced in His church brings great knowledge, joy
and peace. Jesus Christ, the head, is drawing God’s
hungry children together to form His body, His church,
and they are the temple in which He lives by His Holy
Spirit. He is building His spiritual temple. They gather
in small groups everywhere, fearless and hungry for more
truth than they have received from their dry and dead
churches.
I still weep over having sent my youngest son on an LDS
mission to Italy twenty-nine years ago where he was
vulnerable and ill-prepared to do what he was sent to
do. As I read on the internet the many accounts of young
missionaries experiencing the doubt and loneliness and
hurt, I am so ashamed. I know he must have experienced
so much of the same, but he is incredibly spiritual and
strong and loyal and has borne many difficulties in his
adult life, though I don’t exactly what they have been.
Since he married our bishop’s lovely daughter and moved
with them to another state, he has had virtually nothing
to do with us. He is still a member, but I know that God
loves him with an even greater love than mine, and God’s
love can set them all free. My three living daughters
have all left the church and two are Christians. They
have all gone through divorces, directly traceable to
the church. Another son never really accepted it all,
but nonetheless was affected by all that happened to the
rest of the family. It can take a terrible toll, but God
is able to work it all out and He is doing so. It all
comes down to how really important God is in our life.
I pray constantly for my Mormon friends, for my Mormon
children and grandchildren, and great-grandchildren
still in bondage, and for all others still in any kind
of religious bondage. GOD IS NOT ANGRY WITH HIS SHEEP;
HE IS ANGRY WITH HIS SHEPHERDS (Ezekiel 34). We are
learning to totally trust Him, not just to believe IN
Him, but to BELIEVE Him. We are learning to yield to HIS
will and crush our own. The Bible is an open and
trustworthy source for understanding all things by the
Holy Spirit. Indeed it is the Word of God and Jesus is
the living Word.
God focused on two trees in the Garden of Eden — the
tree of knowledge of good and evil (the source of man’s
knowledge and those who will listen to Satan) and the
Tree of Life, (Jesus, to Whom we may go for God’s wisdom
and knowledge). The world today functions almost solely
from the wrong tree.
Which leads me to point out what I feel are several
particularly deceptive LDS teachings:
1. The Bible. Mormons inherently mistrust the
Bible, because they are taught to doubt it despite the
fact that the church claims it as scripture. How many
times have I heard someone say that that they have read
and re-read the Book of Mormon. How many, however, have
read and re-read the Bible except for excerpts allegedly
supporting Mormon doctrine? Few Mormons or ex-Mormons
know that the phrase “as far as it is translated
correctly” as contained in the Mormon Articles of Faith
in referring to the Bible was not in the original
Wentworth letter from which these articles were taken.
The phrase was added later.
One of the first things I had to do was to learn for
myself whether I could trust the Bible. Actually, it was
easy to do. There are many reliable sources that confirm
its accuracy and the simplest is, of course, simply
studying it prayerfully and asking God to give the
reader His knowledge and wisdom. God promises and He
follows through.
2. The Book of Mormon. Mormons are kept almost
exclusively in the Book of Mormon and other LDS
“scriptures” to the exclusion of a serious in-depth
study of the Bible. It was three years after I left the
church that God answered my prayer asking Him to show me
the major problems with the Book of Mormon (other than
its origins). I have found that it is typically the last
thing that Mormons let go. Finally, the Holy Spirit
revealed some important truths to me.
The Book of Mormon is missing the deep prophetic books
of the Old Testament that tell us so much about the days
in which we live. While the Book of Mormon contains
excerpts from Isaiah, and points to the coming of Jesus
Christ, it lacks the information contained, for example,
in the minor prophets, which are like reading tomorrow’s
newspaper. It is also missing the valuable prophetic
books of Daniel, Ezekiel, Jeremiah, and Revelation etc.,
all of which pertain specifically to our day. (And the
LDS church is supposed to be the church of the “latter
days”?)
While the Book of Mormon has its own information about
Christ’s alleged visit to this continent, it has none of
the New Testament parables of Jesus Christ that reveal
so much of the meat of His teachings, nor does it
contain all the incredible promises that Jesus Christ
made to all of us, brought out so clearly in the gospels
and the teachings of Paul. The Book of Mormon is an
empty shell, and it is no wonder that Mormons know so
little of God and what He has for them and what they are
missing. Time spent prayerfully in the New Testament
will reveal the promises that are for all God’s children
today who will turn to Him and believe on His Son Jesus.
3. The temple. Mormons believe that the temple
ceremony (as well as freemasonry) comes from Solomon’s
temple, when in reality, the origins of both lie in
ancient Baal worship out of which God brought Abraham to
teach him about Himself, the one and only God. So
Mormons do not understand (as well as many Christians)
that it was not the Jews who killed Jesus Christ, it was
the corrupt temple priests in collaboration with the
politicians. What has changed about that today? Nothing.
The LDS temple oaths have been changed over the years,
and watered down as necessary for wider acceptance. Much
about the temple is made clear the ex-mormon.org
website. God says that He does not dwell in temples made
with hands; He says we ARE His temple, He is building
that spiritual temple today.
4. Egypt. The Mormons have sought knowledge from
ancient Egypt, even though their Book of Abraham has
been proven completely false. In Utah, when the
Tutenkamen exhibit was taking place at Brigham Young
University, children from schools all over Utah were
bussed to the exhibit. Mormons look to Egypt for wisdom,
when a simple Bible study on Egypt clearly shows how God
felt about Egypt. He did not want His people involved
with Egypt. Their love affair with Egypt is consistent
with their concept that “the glory of God is
intelligence”. The New Testament makes it very easy to
understand the glory of God.
There is much for believers to learn, and God has always
been eager to show us the way. He sent Jesus to show us
the way. We must begin to think deeply about what God
has revealed to us.
In the past, when God has revealed a truth, man in his
weakness and in his own will, has built a church around
it, a new dogma fettered with much of the same error and
tradition out of which he just came. Rather than growing
in truth and knowledge, that church becomes bogged down
in its own traditions. That cycle has been perpetuated
down through the centuries.
Satan managed successfully to compromise the power of
the early Christian church. Man insisted on polluting
the beautiful truth and power of the early church, that
“former rain” that was poured forth, by bringing pagan
traditions into it and by the failure of the traditional
Jew to accept Jesus Christ as Messiah. All of this, of
course, is addressed in the Bible, and foretold. The
Bible tells us exactly what is happening today and what
will happen tomorrow.
That “former rain” will pale in comparison to the
“latter rain” about to be poured out, and it will not be
found in the amalgamation of churches into the religious
beast, the second beast of Revelation, that will soon
arise. The “greater works” that Jesus promised will be
found in those who follow after Jesus Christ, who said,
“I am the way, the truth and the life.” We had better
learn quickly what that means. If Christ is our Life —
He said He is — then Satan is our death. Many of us have
followed after the arm of flesh for much too long.
If “the whole world lies in wickedness” (I John 5:19),
if there is darkness in the land, could it be that Satan
has found his most formidable forum in the churches
which keep their people in darkness because they fail to
fully teach the Bible as the Word of God, substituting
instead their own doctrines and traditions? Because
“they which lead thee do cause thee to err” (Isaiah
3:12), whole congregations are kept from a clear
understanding of the Bible. These leaders are “making
the Word of God of none effect through your [their]
tradition” (Matthew 15:6, Mark 7:13).
Our hope lies in the ability of the individual to be
able to think for himself, to hunger after God, to read,
to study, to pray, and to believe all that God, not man,
has said. God will accomplish His work, how? “… not by
might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, saith the Lord of
hosts.” (Zechariah. 4:6)
— Katie Thomas
P.O. Box 127
Tropic, UT 84776
email: katie@color-country.net